To empower yourself you have to hold it together when things are going very well. I several moments like that today. I showed up at a 4 mile road race (as in running). I didn’t have high expectations. Just an easy social run in the back of the pack. Instead an old injury, sciatica (is that a Greek Warrior?) showed up and slew my chances of a low key jaunt. The pain and stiffness set in during the second mile and slowed me down something awful. By the time I came in the race directors were taking down the finishing line (ha ha). I went to my car and drove home to ice and get some ibuprofen. Frankly, I felt old. I passed by several good looking middle aged women (yes, in middle class suburbia some women keep it together) and did not even flirt. Look, I love my wife (really love her..more than she loves me I think) but I still don’t mind turning on some positive energy. But instead I craved anonymity. No one cares if a broken down runner is actually broken.
As I drove down the road towards home, I noticed a warning light on the dashboard. One of my lights was out. Turned out to be a small light bulb just above and behind the back seat that shines out the rear window. A small thing.
By the time I arrived at the house it pretty much didn’t matter. It wasn’t cancer. It wasn’t the heart attack that killed a colleague of mine last Monday.
I’ll go to the chiropractor and get myself back in balance. I might miss some running time. I’ll try to change the light bulb but if I can’t I’ll take it down to my mechanic. I’ll be back until the next wind comes blowing through
Here’s a book on the subject of small stuff
I watched Lawrence of Arabia this evening. A great movie. It always reminds me of what is imperfectly possible.
It was this movie that partially motivated me to help save the Java Programming Language back in 1993-94 when it was on the verge of extinction. But who cares now? It belongs to Oracle and the world. Moments of greatness pass and the passage of time grinds them up. That’s as it should be. We all need to move on.
When I think of the game that PUA’s play, I realize fully that it is young man’s game. As you age you either go beyond the desire to play the game (especially when it means pursuing older women) or you, like cougars, lose value on the playing field. You gain in other areas like freedom from all of that and the ability to only do only that which you want to do.
My father fully retired in his 60′s. He told me that after that no one held him hostage except his doctors and accountants. Now I am of that age. I get it.